This is part of a series of IdeaLogs that will amplify messaging advice from our brand-new 2026 Edition of Voicing Our Values. You can download the whole book as a PDF from our website or get it as an ebook or a paperback from Amazon.
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The key to persuasion is rather simple: agree with your audience. This was explained ninety years ago by Dale Carnegie in his classic book How to Win Friends and Influence People:
In talking to people, don’t begin by discussing the things on which you differ. Begin by emphasizing—and keep on emphasizing—the things on which you agree. Keep emphasizing, if possible, that you are both striving for the same end and that your only difference is one of method and not of purpose.
So, start every argument from a point of agreement, then build a bridge from their preconceptions to your solutions.
Finding a point of agreement is not so difficult. The easiest way is to acknowledge a problem from your listeners’ point of view. Average Americans struggle with inadequate wages, unfair job conditions, debt, illness, addiction, worries about their children, their quality of life, and their future. Nobody is going to believe you can address their problems if you don’t make it clear that you understand what those problems are: “Yes, groceries cost too much.” “I agree, landlords can be unfair.” “I know our kids are at risk; I feel that too.”
When your listeners state a specific concern, empathize: “Yes, we’ve got to protect Social Security and Medicare.” “You’re right, the immigration system is broken.” “Certainly, cars speed down that street too fast.”
Or you can agree by stating a policy ideal: “A strong, well-trained military is essential to maintaining our security and stability.” “We must ensure that every highway bridge is safe, now and in the future.” “Every child in our city should have access to world-class public schools.”
To be clear: we are not asking you to obfuscate or misrepresent your views. You never have to compromise your political principles to begin in agreement; you just need to consider a wider range of possibilities. For example:
If someone is worried about crime (even in a low-crime community), agree that personal safety must be among the government’s highest priorities.
If an individual thinks the neighborhood is going downhill (even if that’s not the case), agree that we need to preserve the quality of life.
If your audience is worried about government budgets (even if there’s no budget problem), agree that our government has an obligation to be careful with every dollar of taxpayer money.
You may wonder, where do I take the discussion from there? What about facts and statistics? What about our progressive solutions? If you begin in agreement, your listeners will be far more willing to hear the rest. Just understand that the people you are trying to persuade are much less likely to care about policy details. If they believe you’re on their side, they are more likely to accept that your policies are sincerely intended to address their problems.
For example, let us say you are talking about making taxes more progressive. Start in agreement, like this:
Say… Our tax system is unfair. The tax burden on working families has increased, while the rich and powerful pocket more and more tax giveaways. And that’s unjust.
Almost nobody disagrees with that. Then you might provide a statistic or, far more persuasive, tell a story that illustrates the problem. Finish with a brief explanation of how your policy addresses the problem while staying true to shared beliefs.
When you give a talk, shorten your prepared remarks to allow more time for questions. Listeners will tell you what they care about, and then you will know where to start.
When you are in a direct conversation, listen carefully to what others say. Skip the parts where you disagree and steer the discussion toward the elements where you’re on the same side. If someone makes five points and you agree with only one of them, talk about that one. Demonstrate that you understand the problem they are concerned about, that you empathize, and that you share the same policy ideals.
Because of confirmation bias—and the reality that people are often drawing from very different sources of information—avoid telling people they are wrong or that their facts are incorrect. That can trigger a defensive reaction and shut down engagement. (See Chapter 22.) Instead of saying “you’re wrong,” acknowledge their perspective and offer additional context: “There’s more information on this that might be helpful,” or “Here’s what I’ve been seeing from other sources.” A more effective approach is to suggest that, even if their understanding made sense once, new information or changing circumstances may lead to a different conclusion.
Similarly, never let your emotions do the talking. When you are about to speak in anger, take a deep breath and shake it off. Voicing your emotions will make you feel good—you’ll get a shot of dopamine in your brain—but it will almost certainly end your opportunity to persuade.