IdeaLog

How to deal with a bully in the White House

Posted on March 18, 2025

Trump is doing horrible things. But, like any bully, much of his perceived power is based on threats that he doesn’t carry out. By reacting to every threat, no matter how absurd, Democrats are making Trump stronger. Stop it.

One might expect that with all the progressive anti-bullying policies and programs implemented over the past few years, our side would understand bullying. As Psychology Today explains:

Research finds that bullies have a distinct psychological makeup. They lack prosocial behavior, are untroubled by anxiety, and do not understand others’ feelings. They exhibit a distinctive cognitive feature, a kind of paranoia: They misread the intentions of others, often imputing hostility in neutral situations. Others may not like them, but they typically see themselves quite positively. Those who chronically bully tend to have strained relationships with parents and peers.

Doesn’t this sound familiar? Most bullies grow up and change but Trump never did. So how should Democrats deal with this bully?

1) When Trump threatens without action, don’t take the bait. Yes, react when Trump does something awful, but stop reacting to absurd, illegal threats. Turning Gaza into the Riviera was insane from its first mention. Buying Greenland isn’t going to happen. And he’s not getting a third term. The bully gets a thrill from the reaction; it builds up his own self-esteem. As Psychology Today summarizes: “Bullies like victims who become visibly upset when they are picked on….”

Trump blusters so often! He talks about tariffs, imposes some, then backs off much of it. He said he was sending 30,000 immigrants to Guantanamo Bay, then he emptied the prison twice. He said he had a deal with Ukraine, then he didn’t. He says he’s going to deport millions of immigrants but Trump deported fewer people in February than Biden deported the previous February. (Remember, Trump and Republican businesses rely on unauthorized immigrants for cheap labor.) Yes, Trump is engaging in mindless cruelty, and that is horrific, but Democrats need to respond to actions not words. When Trump blusters, our calm reaction should be “that is flatly illegal” or “that is so crazy that a doctor ought to check Trump’s mental health.”

2) There is strength in numbers; the intended targets of bullying need to be surrounded by friends. It is a whole lot easier to bully someone or some group that seems to be all alone. There is strength in numbers. But where is an organized effort to rally around immigrants, universities, libraries, scientists, and our closest foreign allies? What, our side didn’t prepare because we didn’t expect this was going to happen? Trump is doing what’s he’s said all along.

Democrats need to stand up for ourselves and our allies. Josh Marshall of Talking Points Memo says it very well:

A cowering population is a defeated one…. We literally send signals to ourselves and the people around us through our basic civic posture. Are we cowering or not? I was tempted to say scared, but that’s not the right measure. It’s okay to be scared. Just like in every other aspect of life. It’s how we deal with fear etc. A cowering civil society is made up of its parts. So I really think our individual civic posture is a critical perhaps the baseline level of activism. It communicates to ourselves and to others whether we’re going to join a group, show up, take risks, etc.

3) Indirectly pressure the U.S. Supreme Court. Ultimately, a lot of Trump’s bullying will come before the Supreme Court. Democrats need to stop legitimizing Trump’s arguments about unlimited presidential power. Congressional Democrats, especially, should be speaking in a loud and unified voice. For example, there should have been—and should still be—an organized PR campaign against Trump’s efforts to deny birthright citizenship. Where is the organized outcry that nothing could be clearer in the Constitution? Where are the Democrats pointing out that it was and is a disgrace for the Supreme Court to accept the case for argument at all. In this particular case, if the Supreme Court actually rules in favor of Trump, then the U.S. Constitution is meaningless. Who is saying so? Similar arguments should be made against the wartime authority that Trump is absurdly claiming under the 1798 Alien Enemies Act. Trump’s declaration of a “National Energy Emergency” is also absurd. And there is so much more.

Right now, the Democratic Party’s favorability is at a record low of 29 percent in CNN’s poll and 27 percent in NBC’s. This is largely because rank-and-file Democrats are frustrated and angry that Party leaders have no plan on how to deal with Trump. Neville Chamberlain proved that you cannot simply appease a bully. Democrats need a united effort to counter the bully.